While long ago we already decided who the Best Actor in the Universe was (Toshiro Mifune), we still like to leave the bottom bits open so that other actors can hustle and bustle around as they feverishly try to acquire a place on the ladder.
But then we asked ourself: what, praytell, makes for a fine piece of acting skillz?
We have come up with the following criteria:
- Must dance.
- Must cry.
- Must quiver of lip when crying.
- If can dance and cry at same time, move forward five spaces.
- Must have one defining feature (large nose, arched eyebrows, dimples).
- Despite last point, is not necessarily always Shah Rukh Khan.
- Must be willing to display chest hair.
- Must have chest hair, except if Shah Rukh Khan, in which case exempt by virtue of other aesthetic notables.
"But, PPCC Committee!" we hear you cry. "Toshiro Mifune has none of these qualities!"
SILENCE, UNBELIEVER! HEX HEX.
We will now have a series of Dance Offs!! in order to find the Number Two Actor in the Universe. Actors will be grouped by relative similarity in order to make things easier. Or harder, rather. The PPCC Committee will have their preference, and we will do everything to influence you, but it is YOU, the reader or reader(s), who will decide (see side bar).
The Big B: The stylin', groovin', dull-eyed tall man.
Also known as Amitabh Bachchan. Check this shit out:
I mean, daaa-amn. He is on FIRE. Sizzlicious. Someone keep dumping the rainwater, we gots to put that fire OUT.
Shashilicious: The not so much 'style' as 'flapping your arms a lot and flinging yourself head-first into other people' guy.
Called by some Shashi Kapoor. By others, Shashilicious.
Lots of full-body or merely-head jerks, always appealing. Look at that hair! Narang is not amused. And neither are we! You call this dancing? Shaaaashi.
The PPCC Committee Choice: the Big B. Sorry, dear.
The People's Choice: the Big B, as well! Justice prevails.