Monday 24 September 2007

Dance off!! (1): Big B vs. Shashilicious

While long ago we already decided who the Best Actor in the Universe was (Toshiro Mifune), we still like to leave the bottom bits open so that other actors can hustle and bustle around as they feverishly try to acquire a place on the ladder.

But then we asked ourself: what, praytell, makes for a fine piece of acting skillz?

We have come up with the following criteria:
  • Must dance.
  • Must cry.
  • Must quiver of lip when crying.
  • If can dance and cry at same time, move forward five spaces.
  • Must have one defining feature (large nose, arched eyebrows, dimples).
  • Despite last point, is not necessarily always Shah Rukh Khan.
  • Must be willing to display chest hair.
  • Must have chest hair, except if Shah Rukh Khan, in which case exempt by virtue of other aesthetic notables.

"But, PPCC Committee!" we hear you cry. "Toshiro Mifune has none of these qualities!"


We will now have a series of Dance Offs!! in order to find the Number Two Actor in the Universe. Actors will be grouped by relative similarity in order to make things easier. Or harder, rather. The PPCC Committee will have their preference, and we will do everything to influence you, but it is YOU, the reader or reader(s), who will decide (see side bar).

The Big B: The stylin', groovin', dull-eyed tall man.
Also known as Amitabh Bachchan. Check this shit out:

I mean, daaa-amn. He is on FIRE. Sizzlicious. Someone keep dumping the rainwater, we gots to put that fire OUT.

Shashilicious: The not so much 'style' as 'flapping your arms a lot and flinging yourself head-first into other people' guy.
Called by some Shashi Kapoor. By others, Shashilicious.

Lots of full-body or merely-head jerks, always appealing. Look at that hair! Narang is not amused. And neither are we! You call this dancing? Shaaaashi.

The PPCC Committee Choice: the Big B. Sorry, dear.

The People's Choice: the Big B, as well! Justice prevails.


Filmi Geek said...

GREAT choice of song for Big B - it's almost unfair to use "Aaj rapat," that song is simply tha bomb.

Beth Loves Bollywood said...

While I support this project 100%, I have to quibble with your choice of samples. Totally unfair. Why not include "Kajra Re" for Senor B, where all he does is walrus-flap, and, say "O Meri Sharmeelee" for Shashi (it has bunnies!)?
Or maybe each one's song from Do Aur Do Paanch? It's like you set Shashi up to fail! But I know you wouldn't do that. Right? RIGHT?!?

Beth Loves Bollywood said...

I meant to add - will there also be cry-offs, dance-and-cry-offs, single-defining-feature-offs, etc? Or is the Number Two Actor in the Universe to be decided only by dancing DESPITE the admitted requirement of other facets of awesomeness?

Katrin said...

I'm with Beth on this one - the choice is really unfair! You could make up for it by using this clip from Ek Shriman Ek Shrimati where Shimmy!Shashi can really show how much he rocks:
No bunnies, unfortunately ...

a ppcc representative said...

Gripe if you must re: the Committee's choices, but let us never be considered tyrants! IF Shashi wins the poll (which he really shouldn't, come now!) then the next showdown will definitely feature one of the songs you guys linked too (and yes, the bunny one from Sharmilee is truly excellent).

We at the PPCC still think Shashi fell out of the handsome tree and missed the dancing style branch. But the PPCC is a democratic nation too! Not ruled by any single party.

a ppcc representative said...

Oh yeah, and a Cry Off!! might be in the works too. If only because it really is so satisfying to watch a goodlooking man cry. We can't be the only ones on this one.

Beth Loves Bollywood said...

Shashi is most definitely from the handsome tree, but that won't help too much with narrowing down the field, given the options here.

I contend that neither Shashi nor Amitabh is exceptional as a dancer most of the time, especially compared with the boys of today. But this unfortunate fact in no way diminishes my joy in watching either of them. Both are very good at other types of physical expression.

As for your tyranny, well, I'll just quote Lisa Simpson and say that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance, so I'm just doing my part.

PS I have emailed this poll to at least ten people, so I hope that helps with voter turnout.

PPS You're definitely not the only one re: crying.

Memsaab said...

Far better to compare Shammi and Big B :-) Okay, my bias is showing, but Big B seldom moves more than an inch or two from his starting point. Shammi threw himself heart and soul (and nimble feet) into his songs.

Memsaab said...

Forgot to say, am totally in support of a cry-off.

Stella_1 said...

Shashi , Shashi, Shashi!!!!!

Unknown said...

its really unfair to take this song for shashi. u should have chosen the song "pyar to ek din hona tha" from ek shriman ek shrimati or sharmilee song or "dilbarjaniya" from haseena maan jayegi. amitabh does only one or two dance steps while shashi combines dance steps of 60s n 70s of bollywood. not only can he dance well but also show love n passion in his eyes at the same time. so its only shashiiiii.

Unknown said...

i totally agree with beth. u cannot judge an actor on basis of dancing skills. its romance,anger,pain that he needs to show at same time and i dont think anyone can compete shashi in that. forget amitabh. amitabh is very stereotype. doing monotonous roles. anyone who is used to seeing shashi in usual bollywood masala, check him out in his own productions like junoon, kalyug,vijeta to name a few. so its all cheers to shashi. truly shashilious!!!!!